You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning and you look at yourself in the mirror and you think, “hmmmm, I’m pretty sure that’s a new wrinkle or hello new grey hair” and you get that little sinking feeling? Don’t worry, it happens to all of us. It doesn’t matter how confident you are in yourself or how great you feel, it does happen from time to time.
My father pointed out a grey hair to me the other day.
I think he was more shocked that his baby (albeit a little bit of a big grown up baby) has a grey hair. I wasn’t so shocked by it, because I know that Bob (yes, I name them) was there, and I’m quite happy to leave him there. He’s actually great, is Bob. Compared to my other hair he’s a lot thicker and coarser, so I think he’s a great quality hair, maybe a bit off on the colour, but other than that I get along great with Bob. You’re probably thinking what does a grey hair have to do with anything? Well, it’s all related.
Society, culture, and more than ever the media, be it in whatever form, sadly dictates how a woman should look. It doesn’t care for how a normal average human being looks, but more so how she should be looking. We have images of celebrities and supermodels all looking absolutely stunning.
But you know what, someone amazing used to say to me “that if I had the amount of money they all have to spend on stylists and makeup artists and cosmetic surgeons etc, then I too would look like that”. She was absolutely spot on. We actually can all look like that if we had access to all of those things. However, those beautiful gorgeous women you see splashed all over the internet do not have any more self confidence than you or I.
Some feel the need to publish and post photographs and be in the public eye constantly to get a buzz and a false sense of security. These things don’t necessarily buy you long term happiness and confidence. That needs to come from within.
As a trained practicing dentist, I see people’s teeth daily. I see what I have been taught is clinically functional and correct, what is cosmetically correct. I had orthodontic braces at the age of 16 to correct a clinical problem. It relapsed a little bit as I grew older so last year I decided to have braces placed again. I’m not exactly content even though now they’re pretty great again and both of my orthodontists think there is no problem but it’s human nature to never be content with what we have. You know what gave me more contentment and happiness than the image of my teeth –
You know, working out, eating healthy, making someone smile, looking after my family, going to work, having a laugh with my friends. These things provide long term happiness and confidence about yourself.
We all have imperfections. That’s what makes us a perfect human being. If we were all the clone of one another, where would be the pleasure and joy in that? Would we all be attracted to one type of person? Would we all look like mirror images or one another? Sounds pretty bleak and depressing to me.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to look a certain way and using healthy practices like exercising and eating healthy to achieve what you wish. There’s nothing wrong in dying a grey hair or having braces fitted or having baby Botox here or there to correct what we ourselves deem to be an imperfection. To think that these cosmetic surgical and non surgical procedures will give you self confidence and change your life is possibly stretching it a little far, and being confident within yourself for who you are inside out is more important than anything. Money can’t buy that.
Being confident and happy about yourself is the most important thing. If you love yourself and know you’re self worth and are confident within yourself, then you will already inspire others to feel the same about you.
Look after your mind and body, keep them both healthy and honor them and be self assured within yourself. Only then you will find that happiness everyone craves, and then if you want to go tweak something here or there using image enhancing procedures, why not?
Hear more from coach Aliya who shares her tips on confidence after becoming a mom on The Mama Podcast
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